How to Guide Kids towards a Well Adjusted Future

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When envisioning our children as successful adults, many of us naturally focus on financial independence and career satisfaction. However, a recent Pew Research study suggests that this narrow definition of success overlooks important aspects of personal growth and fulfillment. Success cannot be measured universally, as individuals possess unique strengths and weaknesses. To truly foster success in our children, it is essential to cultivate inner strength, resilience, and self-identity. Clinical psychologists and experts emphasize the importance of guiding children towards a well-adjusted life and empowering them to make wise choices. Here are five ways parents can support their children’s personal growth and development.

  1. Praise actions, not character: Instead of using generic praise that labels children (“You’re such a good kid!”), focus on acknowledging specific behaviors and their impact. Concrete praise encourages children to internalize their accomplishments and find intrinsic motivation, leading to a deeper sense of satisfaction and self-worth.
  2. Hone their gut instincts: When children come to parents with problems or conflicts, allow them the opportunity to tap into their intuition and problem-solving skills. By encouraging them to trust their inner voice, parents empower their children to rely on their own judgment and develop decision-making abilities. Asking open-ended questions helps them explore options and navigate challenges independently.
  3. Encourage their involvement: Assigning age-appropriate chores and responsibilities not only helps parents but also promotes children’s overall well-being. Engaging in household tasks fosters a sense of community, connection, and personal responsibility. Gradually introduce new responsibilities and guide children through the learning process to ensure they have the necessary skills and knowledge.
  4. Measure progress against personal milestones: Every child’s journey is unique, and comparing them to others can hinder their growth. Instead, focus on your child’s individual progress and celebrate their achievements, however small they may seem. By recognizing and appreciating their personal growth, parents help build self-esteem and a positive self-image.
  5. Work on your own growth: Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children’s behavior and attitudes. To raise well-adjusted children, it is vital for parents to work on their own emotional regulation and self-improvement. By modeling self-awareness, emotional resilience, and effective problem-solving, parents provide a valuable example for their children to follow.


Redefining success involves recognizing that it encompasses more than financial accomplishments or external validation. Parents have the opportunity to guide their children towards a fulfilling future by nurturing their well-being, promoting self-identity, and fostering resilience. By focusing on inner strength, independence, and personal growth, parents can help their children navigate life’s challenges and become confident individuals who contribute positively to society. Ultimately, success is not a one-size-fits-all concept but a multifaceted journey towards self-discovery and contentment.

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